The following message, entitled, The Weight of Glory, was delivered by the Reverend John W. Howe at the Friday night prayer and praise service at Truro Episcopal Church in Fairfax, Virginia, on October 24, 1980. I want to share an experience with you and then look briefly at a scripture in the light of it. And the experience happened just a week ago tonight, and I'm not sure that I can express it very well because it was a very unusual experience for me, but I'm going to try because it was such a moving experience, and it had to do with a dream. And you need to know about me that I'm not a dreamer.

Psychologists tell us everybody dreams, but I never remember my dreams, and if I remember them, they're absolutely trivial. Okay, they never mean anything that is discernible, but this one was a real humdinger. And as a matter of fact, it left me sobbing in my sleep.

So much so, in fact, that Karen was worried. It woke her up and then she woke me up to get me out of it. And after I was awake, it was several minutes before I could compose myself enough to tell her what I was dreaming.

And I think it was very incoherent at that point. And even after that, I just broke down again and was sobbing yet again. It was a very strange dream, and there were several scenes in it, and two of them stand out very, very clearly in my mind.

it had to do with the crucifixion and the resurrection. But what was strange about it is that it was somehow transposed into the 20th century. And everything, all the people in the dream and all of the kind of objects, you know, the scenery, if you will, were very, very contemporary.

And as I found myself in the midst of a crowd of people bearing witness to these events, they were dressed in 20th century business suits and in fact the whole thing was highly stylized so that I wasn't sure in reflecting about it whether we were actually witnessing the events themselves somehow dislocated in time or whether in some sense we were enacting it as if it were a drama. I recognized two of the people very clearly in the dream. I don't think either one of them is here, but one of them was John Vandervoort, and the other one was Ron Dobie.

And the others were familiar to me, but they just didn't stand out that clearly. It was pretty definitely a group of Truro folk, and maybe there were some others there as well. The first scene was the crucifixion itself, and strangely about it, very, very strangely about it, and as I say, perhaps it was that we were somehow dramatizing it, we were indoors.

We were indoors in a room at the top of a building. It was a very large room. It was very airy, full of light, huge picture windows, huge skylights, and the whole thing took place on a raised platform, sort of a diaz.

And we were there, absolutely horrified at what was taking place. This was our friend. This was our master.

This was our hero. This was the one that we had hoped would somehow bring in the golden age. And in this dream, it's not so much that I saw something new that I'd never seen before or even that I understood something that I'd never understood before, but it's that I felt something that I have never felt before.

And I know I can't put that adequately into words, but I'm going to try to bear witness to it. the first scene then that stands out very clearly in my mind is just as the crucifixion was over and they took down the dead body of Jesus and they removed the cross and there we were absolutely desolate standing on this platform I have never felt such lostness it was just the bottom had dropped out you know life had absolutely no meaning I was completely at my wit's end. I had no idea where I was going to turn from here.

And I remember there was a huge stone pot, like a huge water pot, standing on the edge of the diaz, and in sort of an expression of despair, I remember just pushing against it, and it fell off the thing, and it smashed into smithereens. And that was sort of a picture of what had happened to the whole world, what had happened to my life. I don't know if you have ever felt emptiness, lostness.

I don't think I have ever felt what I felt at that moment. Just a total question mark. You know, where do we go from here?

If he wasn't the one, then where in the world do we go from here? If God didn't honor this man, if his righteousness somehow doesn't add up to success, then what's it all about? And then there were some other scenes that I don't really recall very clearly, but the next one, out of which Karen woke me up, was unmistakably clear.

And I didn't realize until quite a bit afterward in reflecting on it that what I was really part of in that scene was the disciples on the road to Emmaus. And somehow, instead of there just being two, there was again this little group of people. And strangely enough, it was very bizarre, it doesn't fit, but strangely enough, we were making our way up this staircase back to the same room, the very same room in which the crucifixion had taken place.

And here's where I recognized Vandervoort and Dobie, you know, making their way up the stairs along with the rest of us. And there was another person with us, and I didn't recognize him. And when we got up to the top of the stairs, the door was locked.

And I remember John Vandervoort, you know, saying, as only John can, how can we get in, you know? And this person that I didn't recognize, I just sort of caught a glimpse of his face. And strangely enough, he looked remarkably like Jim Todd to me.

gave us a funny little smile and he said, I can open the door. And the next minute the door was open. I didn't know how he did it.

But we were in the room. And the room was pitch black. And Vandervoort says, How are we going to get the lights on?

And this same person with this funny little smile You know, I mean, it was almost a quizzical, almost a humorous kind of, I know something you don't know, smile. He wasn't making fun of us, but it was like he knew a little joke, and we were about to know it. He said, I can take care of that.

And suddenly the place was blazing in light. And then I caught a much better glimpse of his face. And strangely, it still looked rather like Jim Todd to me.

But all of a sudden, I knew who this was. And all of a sudden, we all knew who this was. And at that point, I felt something that I have never even begun to feel.

I don't think I've ever thought about what I felt. What I felt was such a combination of joy, inexpressible. I mean, it was like a little effervescent spring beginning to well up inside me, you know, deep from within the center of the earth.

You know, Perrier bubbles coming up. And at the same time, horror. Terror.

Absolute awe. That's what I've never felt before. I think I had a taste, just a little tiny taste, of what it is to see the glory of Christ.

I've talked about glory. I've preached about glory. I've thought I understood glory.

I've sung about glory for 20 years. I never knew what glory was. And it was like I was crushed to the ground.

I remember feeling a physical weight upon me. Up to this moment, I would have said those two feelings were inconsistent with each other. That you could not feel joy and this crushing sense of absolutely being overwhelmed.

You could not feel those at the same time. But that's what I felt. And the question that I was just asking over and over, what does this mean?

what does this mean what does this mean that a man that we saw ripped limb from limb nails driven through his hands spear stuck into his side obviously as dead as dead could be he's back he's alive he's brimming with life he's full of life he's the king of life what does this mean and I was sobbing I was full of joy I was brim full of joy and I was sobbing uncontrollably at the same time. There was a weight of glory upon me in relationship to this resurrected Christ. I couldn't bear it and I didn't want it to stop.

And Karen woke me up. And I kept wishing I could get back into the dream and I couldn't get back into it. I want you to look at Exodus chapter 39.

Some of you may recall, I've commented on this before, that in the proportion of things, it's very interesting to be aware of the fact that God spends 15 verses giving us the Ten Commandments and then 15 chapters telling us how to build the tabernacle. Somehow that must be terribly important to him. He goes through this tremendous detail from Exodus chapter 25 all the way to the end of the book, talking about the tabernacle, the place where he will meet with his people.

And when we come to chapter 39, finally all of the preparation has been done. They've picked Aholiab and Bezalel to construct the thing. They've had a free will offering that just didn't stop.

People kept giving and giving and giving and giving until Moses finally had to say, Stop! We don't know what to do with any more of it! And now they've put the whole thing together.

It's all ready to be assembled. and you're aware I know you're aware at least vaguely of the fact that the whole of the tabernacle has a symbolic meaning to it you know it really is preparing us for the understanding of the gospel so that you can see the doorway as being Jesus himself and then you get through that doorway and immediately you have to be cleansed you're washed in the laver blood is offered a blood sacrifice the blood of the lamb is the only way that you can approach God Most High and then you come on in further and the paraphernalia of the holy place bear witness to the to the worshipping congregation the twelve loaves standing for the twelve tribes of the redeemed and so on on the other side we've got the candelabra seven lamps bearing witness to the Holy Spirit of God and finally you come on in to the Holy of Holies and here above the Ark of the Covenant is the Shekinah glory of God the unapproachable glory of God. What I want you to notice, though, is in putting it together, I want you to notice something.

This never struck me until in the light of this experience last week. When we hit chapter 39, they're all set to begin the construction itself. And there's a little phrase that appears over and over and over again at the end of every paragraph.

Do you notice that? Verse 1, the end of the paragraph, as the Lord had commanded Moses. What they're doing is they're getting together the holy garments, the high priest's innermost garments.

And then they move to his outer garments and they assemble his outer garments. And verse 5, they did this as the Lord had commanded Moses. And then they come to the jewels that go on the breastplate of the high priest, still further outside what he's wearing.

And you come to verse 7, they did this as the Lord had commanded Moses. and then you move on down through all of his outermost garments and the outer garments of the assistant priests and so on and the bells and the pomegranates that hang around the bottom of his skirt as the Lord had commanded Moses as the Lord had commanded Moses having dressed the priests then what they really do is they begin in the innermost part they assemble the ark of the covenant put in it the two tablets of stone the rod of Aaron, the showbread, as the Lord had commanded Moses. They construct the Holy of Holies around it.

They put up the veil as the Lord had commanded Moses. They come then to the holy place outside the Holy of Holies. They put the table in place.

They put the showbread out. They get out the candelabra as the Lord had commanded Moses. They come out of the holy place.

There's the altar of incense there. And they come out of that. and they put in place the altar of sacrifice and the laver.

Do you see what's happening? They're backing out. They're backing out.

They're starting in the innermost sanctuary where the Shekinah glory of God is going to come and dwell in the midst of His people. They're starting there and they're backing out. and at each point along the way, as the Lord had commanded Moses.

And finally, when they've got everything else in place and they set up the laver and they construct the courtyard around and they erect the tent that goes around the outside, we read that they put the screen at the door, finally down in chapter 40, verse 33, he erected the court around the tabernacle and the altar, set up the screen of the gate of the court, and so Moses finished the work. Now, we usually think of the tabernacle the other way around. You know, we start outside, and we come in, right?

We come in through the door, and you come to the laver, and you come to the altar, and you move your way in. But I just want you to notice, in this instance, they started at the innermost place, got that absolutely perfect, as the Lord had commanded Moses, and backed away from it. Got the holy place ready as the Lord had commanded Moses and backed away from it.

And backed away from it until everything was in accord with what God had spent so much time telling them and then Moses finished the work. And then you read, verse 34, then the cloud covered the tent of meeting and the glory of the Lord filled the temple. And Moses was not able to enter the tent of meeting because the cloud abode upon it and the glory of the Lord filled the temple.

Moses couldn't enter it. Moses, who has overseen the whole construction of this thing, Moses, the general in charge, can't enter what he's just constructed. Only the high priest can and he only once a year.

throughout all their journeys wherever the cloud was taken up from over the temple the people of Israel would go onward but if the cloud was not taken up then they did not go onward until the day that it was taken up for throughout all their journeys the cloud of the Lord was upon the tabernacle by day and the fire was in it by night in the sight of all the house of Israel turn over to 2nd Chronicles for just a moment 2nd Chronicles chapter 5. 2 Chronicles chapter 5. Much, much later in the story, we come to the building, the construction of Solomon's temple.

Okay, it takes the place of the tabernacle. And I want you to read from verse 11. 2 Chronicles 5 and verse 11.

Now when the priests came out of the holy place, for all the priests who were present had sanctified themselves without regard to their divisions, and all the Levitical singers, Asaph and Haman and Jeduthun, their sons and kinsmen arrayed in fine linen with cymbals, harps, and lyres, stood east of the altar with 120 priests who were trumpeters, and it was the duty of the trumpeters and the singers to make themselves heard in unison in praise and thanksgiving to the Lord. and when the song was raised with trumpets and cymbals and other musical instruments in praise to the Lord for he is good for his steadfast love endures forever the house, the house of the Lord was filled with a cloud so that the priests could not stand to minister because of the cloud for the glory of the Lord filled the house of God. I would just wonder if there's a picture here for each one of us and for us corporately yes there's a sense in which you start outside and you make your way inside and you get closer and closer and the goal is to get as close as you can but I just wonder if there's another sense in which God would say to us tonight I want you to begin at the center I want you to begin in the holy of holies of your life.

I want you to begin in the throne room of your life. And I want you to make it perfect there for me to dwell upon the throne of your life. And then I want you to back out.

And as you go, I want you to clean up every corner, every closet, every little hidden cubby hole, every part of the attic, every part of the basement. I want you to go out into the little tiny neglected parts of your life and one by one I want you to clean them up as the Lord has commanded until you work out in all of your life what is true at the center. Do you see what I'm saying?

Can you identify with the mentality that says, Jesus Christ sits on the throne of my life, but this little closet over here I'll keep to myself. Most of us have invited Him to dwell at the center. I believe He would say to us tonight, I want you to work that out.

what is true at the center needs to be true in every nook and cranny. And when you've brought every nook and cranny under submission, under obedience to what is true at the center, when you have backed out, when you've gotten yourself out of the way, when you've done as John the Baptist put it, I must increase, I must decrease that He might increase. then maybe the glory of the Lord will come to dwell in the temple of your life in a way that you've never experienced before.

I don't want to base too much on feelings but I've got to tell you I want to drink to the dregs what I tasted in that dream. St. Paul wrote to the Corinthians that this life and even the afflictions of this life is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory. That's God's will for us.

is that we would get strong enough, because you're not now, I'm not now, but that we would get strong enough to bear what He is going to share with us, the very glory of Jesus Christ. He's going to invest us with the glory of Christ. That's a crushing weight, except we live by His strength.

Do you remember Paul's other word to the Romans? he said I consider that the sufferings of this present age all of them all of them take all of them all the sufferings that you have ever suffered and everybody else has ever suffered and wrap them all up in one great big lump and I consider that the sufferings of this present age aren't even worth comparing with the glory that's to be revealed in us because of Jesus Christ back out as the Lord has commanded. And let his glory fill your temple.

Let's bow our heads for a moment. Father, some of us have been kidding ourselves. we're certainly not kidding you but we've been kidding ourselves into thinking that that somehow you're not too interested in that particular corner of our lives for some of us it may be the corner where we do our work and though we worship you we praise you in our hearts our work is somehow done according to the world system for some of us it's a relationship that we haven't yet brought under obedience to Jesus Christ for some of us it's our sexuality for some of us it's our our speech pattern our language our tongues need to be converted Father David prayed search me oh God and try me look deep within me and see if there be any wicked way within me and Lord we would dare to ask you that tonight that by your gentle yet firm Holy Spirit you would put your finger tonight on the area of my life that needs to be yielded to you afresh.

Lord, forgive me for keeping the door locked for so long. I would throw it open to you. With all of its ugliness, Lord, I would say cleanse it by the blood of Christ.

Come in and occupy it and let me back out of that room. Lord, fill the temple of my life with your splendor. For your great namesake.

Amen.