The following sermon was delivered by the Reverend John W. Howe, Rector of Truro Episcopal Church in Fairfax, Virginia, on Friday night, November 28, 1980. The sermon is entitled, Priorities for the Christian, and the scripture reference is Ephesians 6. 

I want to share an insight that the Lord gave. And I'm on very common, very familiar ground. I'm on some territory that many of us, at least, have studied lots of times before.

And I hope it bears repetition for those who have studied about this before. Some of you perhaps haven't worked this through, and it may be brand new, and I trust God will use it in your lives. But even for those who have thought about this before, it came as a new kind of an insight for me, and I hope it will be for you as well.

I don't know if you've ever had the experience of working through something, sort of praying about it, meditating about it, waiting upon God, and coming to an insight, and knowing that you know that it's so, but not having any particular scripture that would back it up. You know, it's sort of a distillation of what you understand all of the scriptures to be saying, but there's not one particular passage that speaks to the point. Have you ever had that experience?

And then all of a sudden God gives you a passage, and it confirms what he had already said, what you had already sort of seen. Have any of you ever had that experience? It's fantastic when that happens.

I've had that experience on certain theological things. For instance, insight about baptism and its relationship to circumcision. And I had studied the scriptures and studied the scriptures.

And I thought that I saw something. And I heard very few people ever talking about it. And then all of a sudden, I discovered Colossians 3 in a brand new way.

And it absolutely came alive. Tremendously exciting. had an insight not too long ago that I have asked her to share with you in a couple of weeks' time relating to the return of Christ.

And it's just tremendously exciting. When you work something out, you know that you know that you know it has to be that way, and then all of a sudden the Lord gives you a confirming scripture. I understand that that's the way a lot of scientists come to conclusions in their particular realm.

I'm told that Einstein worked out any number of theories and had no hard evidence to prove that he was right until years later. You know, but it simply, it had to be this way. And then they found the proof that it was so.

Well, what I'm talking about has to do with the priorities of the Christian life. And I don't know, frankly, who it was that first began to teach this. It's become a fairly widespread teaching.

And I have taught it here many, many times. It was one of the earliest things that I taught, that God has a set of priorities for our lives and that they're somewhat different than the way we might typically think about them. That number one, number one is our relationship with Him personally.

Number two, if we're married, is our relationship to our spouse. Number three, if you have kids, is your relationship to your kids. Number four is your relationship to your job.

And number five is your ministry. And the first time I ever said that here, I got some very funny looks. You know, people were sort of saying, do we really want to hire a man as our rector whose fifth priority is his ministry?

But when you stop and think about it, it has to be that way. I mean, it really has to be that way. If I'm not putting my own personal walk with Christ absolutely first, I don't have a ministry.

I don't have anything to give to anybody. And secondly, if I'm not working that out in my relationship with my wife, then rather than her being a help meat to me, a strength and a support and a partner and a friend and a confidant and someone who really provides a support system to me, rather than that, it's going to be exactly the opposite. And anything that I would say to anybody else really becomes a kind of a hollow mockery if it's not being worked out in relationship to Karen.

Scripture itself says that if a man can't raise his children to know and love and be obedient to the Lord, then he really ought not presume to leadership in the church. The home is a little microcosm of the church. If you can't make it happen in your own home, how do you dare presume to try to make it happen in the family of the church?

Now, praise God, he's a God of mercy, and we make lots of mistakes, and he can use us in spite of our mistakes. But nonetheless, the general order of things is that I don't even begin talking about what I have to give to other people until I've begun to work it out in my own family. And interestingly enough, I believe that even for a clergyman, job comes before ministry and they're not necessarily the same.

And that's the one that really surprises people. You say, well, you're hired to be a minister. That's what we call you. You're a minister.

Yeah, that's true. Of course, we all are called to be ministers. Every member ministry in the body of Christ.

But the point is, even for a clergyman, There are lots of things that my job entails that are not directly ministering to anybody. And I have a responsibility to my job. I've got to keep faith with my employer.

And in God's order of things, I can't set aside my responsibilities in the name of ministry. Now, again, praise God, there's often a lot of flexibility here. And even in the most secular of jobs, there are often many times when you can sort of rearrange things in order to minister to somebody that God brings into your life to meet an emergency need or whatever it might be.

But the point I'm making is that if we have a job, we've accepted a responsibility to our employer, and we don't simply set that aside and say, well, I've got a higher calling to go and minister. A lot of Christian students go off to university and they go right down the tubes because they set, quote, their ministry ahead of their studies. And I have to say to students, listen, if you've got the privilege of going to university, you've also got a responsibility to do the very best job you can as a student.

And that's a higher calling than ministering. because if you blow that, what ministry do you have? If you get kicked out of university because you failed, who are you going to minister at university, you see?

So I believe that, and I'm not by any means the only one who's teaching it. There's lots and lots of people who are teaching that. Bill Gothard has made basically that same teaching very, very widespread and well-known.

Well, suddenly, I found a scripture, six years later, that said exactly that. And I just rejoice that God said something. I can't tell you how many times I've read this, and I never noticed it as a list of priorities.

Would you turn in the book of Ephesians? the theme of the book of Ephesians is the incredible completeness of the redemption of Christ it's really a cosmic picture that Paul is painting that one day everything all that exists will find its proper place in relationship to Christ, that he's the head of all things, and one day the whole universe will know that. And he moves from that theme to talk about the church and the way that God has ordered his church, and as he moves to the conclusion of the book, I pick up this list of priorities starting in verse 15 of chapter 5.

And I just want to walk through this very quickly with you. Chapter 5, verse 15. Look carefully, then, how you walk.

This is sort of the summary statement. Because all this is so, you look carefully how you walk. Not as unwise men, but as wise, making the most of the time, because the days are evil.

Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. and do not get drunk with wine for that is debauchery but be filled with the Spirit. Could I suggest to you that that's a pretty good statement of your first priority?

That you would be filled with the Spirit. That you would walk not as foolish not as unwise not like the men of this world that your walk would be a walk of and really the verb there is go on being filled be filled and go on being filled. filled and filled and filled and filled again that that's our first priority that we would walk in such a relationship to Christ that we'd allow nothing to get in the way of his filling us with himself filling us with his spirit the contrast here it's almost humorous say look at how people get drunk with wine look what happens to them when they get filled with that kind of spirits well you similarly to that you get filled up to the point of being at the disposal of Christ's Spirit.

So you're operating not under the influence of alcohol, but you're operating under the influence of the Holy Spirit. That's our first priority, friends. There's nothing else more important than that one.

That we would so walk that nothing would hinder the Holy Spirit's access to my personality. That he can do anything with me he wants. If he wants to give a word of prophecy, he can give it because I'm available.

If he wants to minister to somebody in a particular way, he can do that because I'm available. I'm filled with his spirit and available to him. He moves from that into speaking on addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with all your heart, always and for everything giving thanks in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God the Father.

You can't be filled with the Holy Spirit and keep it in. Hope you're beginning to appreciate the importance of singing, of worshiping, of letting it out. You try to keep it to yourself, it'll stagnate.

So get filled up and let it flow out. In worship, that's what he's talking about. That's number one, our relationship with the Lord.

Immediately, he talks about marriage. Immediately, the very next subject. Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.

and you know the teaching. Wives, subject to your husbands as to the Lord and that's hard enough. Husbands, infinitely harder.

Love them in the same way Christ has loved you. And the teaching is that the marriage relationship is to be a living parable of Christ's love. That's what it's to be.

My relationship with Karen is to partake of the very nature, the very essence of Christ's relationship to his church. Husbands, if you've never studied this before, let me say to you, there is not one shred of warrant in this passage for lording it over your wives. You think about how Christ loves the church.

He doesn't lord it over the church. He comes and washes his disciples' dirty, smelly feet. He serves, and he serves, and he serves, and he serves.

and he lets them nail him to a tree and he bleeds and he dies and in his last gasping breath he says I love you, I forgive you no woman is going to find it very hard to submit herself to a man who loves her like that husbands are called to be like Christ in relationship to their wives and that's our second priority and it follows right after the first one if you are married here's the first place you work it out in your relationship with your wife in your relationship with your husband he says in verse 32 this mystery is a profound one he's quoting from the book of Genesis almost the first words about man and wife for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh and he says this is a profound mystery but I'm telling you it refers to Christ and his church the marriage relationship is to be a parable of Christ and his church and then he takes a breath and moves on and talks about children and parents children obey your parents submit to their leadership and parents again love them as Christ has loved you You can begin to see a pattern here. I've commented on this before. It bears repetition.

The pattern in every single instance of an authority relationship in the New Testament is this. That the one under authority is to treat the one in authority as if he were the Lord himself. The one under authority is to treat the one in authority as if he were the Lord himself.

even when he's not at all like that. The one in authority is to act like the Lord himself even when the one under authority isn't treating him right at all. Do you get the picture?

It is not 50-50. It is 100-100. If you are a Christian child in your parents' household you are to treat your parents as if they were the Lord Jesus Christ himself, even if they're not Christian.

Let that one settle on your mind. How would it be, we have a few teenagers here tonight, how would it be if it were the Lord Jesus, Julie, who were telling you when to come in at night and who to date and how to dress and whatever else your dad tells you? The Lord Jesus himself, you'd do it gladly.

The one under authority is to treat the one in authority as if you were the Lord. The one in authority is to act like the Lord, Bruce. And then he moves on to our jobs.

Slaves. I know you feel that way sometimes. Again, exactly the same thing is true.

And mind you, this was addressed to literal slaves. And what he's saying is you're to obey your master as if your master were the Lord Jesus. Think about some of those orders that your employer gives you and think about how you would react if they were given to you by the Lord Jesus himself.

It would change the whole thing, wouldn't it? And that's what he says. Treat him as if it were the Lord Jesus.

And in Colossians, you find exactly the same set of priorities, exactly parallel to this. And when Colossians comes to this passage, as J.B. Phillips translates it, he says, know that your true employer is the Lord Jesus, and that's who you're working for, you see.

But if you happen to be the employer and you're a Christian, you're to treat your employee in the way Jesus would treat him. And so we move through a list of priorities. The Lord first, wives, husbands second, children third, job fourth.

And you come down finally, verse 10. Be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

For we're not contending against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, powers, world rulers of this present darkness, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. What are you doing? You're engaging in ministry.

And behind whatever the specifics of your ministry might be, you're doing spiritual battle with the evil one. And you're going to be best able to do that spiritual battle with the evil one when you've got your priorities straight. When you've got your relationships straight, then you're ready to strap on the armor and go to battle.

Do you follow what I'm saying? That's what he's telling us here. I know that's a very familiar passage, put on the whole armor of God.

I had a little insight on that one too. You know, we typically picture this and we see all the different pieces of armor. You've got the headpiece and you've got the breastplate and you've got the stuff on the legs and you've got the sword and the spear and all that stuff.

And we've commented many times that the only part of the body that is unprotected is your back. And I used to say that that was because God never wants us to retreat. You never expose your back to the enemy.

You just keep going ahead. But I think there's another reason. We're to protect each other's back.

And the trouble is so often we stab each other in the back instead. And I'm absolutely sure that what Paul is saying is that the outermost piece of armor is right relationships. It's get your priorities right.

And when you've got your priorities right, then you can put on the armor of God and go out and fight the battle and do your ministry and be successful. So I'm excited by that. I'm glad God finally got around to saying what I'd seen six years ago.

Number one, your relationship with the Lord himself nothing get in the way of it. Number two, work it out in your marriage. Number three, work it out with your kids.

Number four, in your job. And number five, your ministry. And one footnote on all that, it's awfully easy to say, I believe in these priorities.

You know that you believe in those priorities when they affect your schedule. And I am personally rebuked by this because I'm not spending the kind of time with my kids that I need to. And if I say that they're a higher priority than my job, it's time for me to start doing something about it.

And I share that with you. If you want to know how well you're measuring up, check out your schedule. I believe these would be God's priorities for us.

We're moving into Advent. Advent is a time of self-examination and preparation and I would bid you meditate on what God has said about his order for our lives. Let's bow our heads together.

Father, thank you that your word is so totally consistent that what is true in one part is confirmed in another. and Lord we would be encouraged again tonight by the picture you've painted for us of the priorities that you would have us set in our own lives I would ask you for your help in working these out in my own life I'd ask you that we could be of help to each other in living according to your order and that thereby you would make us strong equal to any contingency available to your spirit shod with your armor and preparation for your great namesake Amen Amen.